Jahi McMath, a 13 year old girl that had
complications after tonsil surgery is declared “brain dead”. They put her on
life support where she was in an induced coma. Doctors then made the decision
that Jahi McMath should be taken off life support as to she was “brain dead”
and the only thing keeping her alive was life support. Her parents, wanting to
believe that with a little more time she would be alive when taken off life
support made the decision to keep her on life support. As we can see, this may
have caused controversy and disagreement among family members and outsiders
whether or not Jahi McMath should be kept on life support.
The first stakeholder I want to establish
is Jahi’s parents. After doctors have come to the conclusion that Jahi was
brain dead and was no longer living or able to live, Jahi’s parents still
believed that she was. They saw her heart beating and muscle spasms as a sign
of life and didn’t know the true meaning of “brain dead”. The parents had hope
that their daughter would survive even though neurological professionals had
proved that wrong. In their eyes, their daughter was still alive and fighting
for their life and wouldn’t want to jeopardize that by taking her off life
support.
Another stakeholder we have to consider
is the doctors. After multiple tests and tons of experience, they know that
Jahi McMath is brain dead and should be taken off life support. From past
experience, they knew that no patient has ever survived after being diagnosed
as “brain dead”. The doctors are the most reliable source because they are
first hand working with the patient and know what is in the patients best
interest. Although its hard for the parents to believe the doctors after a
previous surgery malfunction that put them in this position, the doctors are
only thinking about the well being of their daughter. And even though its hard
to grasp that your daughter is no longer living anymore, the doctors believe
its unnecessary to keep a dead human being alive by a machine.
I really like this draft because it has a very strong introduction into your topic that can bring in readers and keep their attentions. i think with a few more stakeholders and a solid conclusion then this essay will really good
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be off on a good start. I like where your paper seems to be going. It definitely needs some expansion on the ideas you begin to state in your second paragraph. Keep your claim and your reason clear throughout the process when adding information.
ReplyDeleteThis is a solid draft, and representation of it. You have your introductory paragraph, where it states the purpose of the article and its points. You then have your two major stakeholders which express the arguments of the topics. This is a good outline for the draft but I think that you might be able to expand it a bit more. Maybe describe your stakeholders a little more, and try to relate them to pathos/logos/ethos.
ReplyDeleteThis is a pretty good draft but it could use a little more detail. One or two more stakeholders would be great and a conclusion to close it off would make it a great piece. And also relating to pathos/logos/ethos would help.
ReplyDeleteI really like the story you are writing about. I also have mixed emotions about this news story. Anyways,your first draft looks pretty good and your arguments go well along with your stakeholders. I say you keep the main points your trying to get across all around your paper, keep it all the way through till the end. Good luck on the final draft.
ReplyDeleteThe story you chose is great and will definitely have stakeholders with strong opinions. What you have so far seems good especially using the parents as the first stakeholder. You could have one or two more stakeholders to make it more complete but this is good so far.
ReplyDelete